Perfection Personified

Nightlight on the deck of your water villa

Chillin' on your private water villa deck

Early morning view from the water villa deck

My husband is a Platinum member of the Hilton Honours Programme. We decided to cash in his free nights and stay at the Conrad in the Maldives. Come May 25th, we were all packed and ready to go!
Even though the hotel had been very explicit in telling us that there would be someone to meet us at the airport, after our, what can only be described as horrendous flight by Air India to Male, we were very rattled and were expecting more unprofessionalism as we were on - after all - an island!
I can safely say that we were in for the experience of a lifetime. From the smiling and efficient staff waiting for us in their khakhi capris and beige shirts (the hotel uniform - irrespective of hierarchy) to the drive in the perfectly chilled minivan that took us to the Hilton Lounge while we waited for our sea plane - one felt like if there was one place you'd like to be - this was it - and I hadn't even reached the island!!
The Hilton Lounge was just a teaser of what was to come! The lounge was impeccably kept and they offer a free 10 minute back and shoulder massage while you wait for the seaplane to transport you to the island. They offer you a nice selection of snacks and drinks while you wait as well - all complimentary of course.
After the horrid Air India flight we had been on, we were not looking forward to the seaplane ride which takes approximately 1 hour (depending on how many stops it has to make) It is quite expensive at USD 300 per head but it is absolutely worth it! The views one gets of the islands is exquisite!It looks like a huge polka dotted fabric of varying shades of blue has been meticulously draped under you. The seaplane is tiny but seats about 10 - 12 people comfortably. The people at the lounge gave us a little bag each which contained a bottle of water, a set of ear plugs and a face tissue - this was a welcome change!
When we touched down at Rangali Island, the real Conrad exprerience began.
We were assigned a vacation manager who was responsible for arranging everything from dinner reservations to excursions for us. She was just super! That is one thing I MUST say! The professionalism of the staff is beyond compare! I am allergic to certain foods and within the first five minutes of being on the island, every restaurant knew what I was allergic to and the chefs would come out personally to help me make the right food choices.
The resort has beach villas, deluxe beach villas and water villas. We were there for four nights so we stayed two nights each in the deluxe beach villas and the spa water villas. The experience was unbelievable!
The deluxe beach villas have outdoor showers and baths as well as a plunge pool where as the spa villa has a room dedicated to getting massages!

Deluxe Beach Villa Room

Deluxe Beach Villa Outdoor sunken bathtub

From exquisitely furnished rooms to restaurants that served food that could only be described as heavenly, to serving staff that make you feel like you're a local - the Hilton touch was everywhere.
They have several dining options but the restaurant called the sunset bar is just divine and the Atoll Market which is basically the coffee shop is also fantastic!
The resort offers you a half board as well as a bed and breakfast option. Half board means that you will get breakfast as well as dinner at Atoll Market or any of the other restaurants depending on the accommodation you choose. It's a bit complicated in the beginning but it falls into place in a matter of minutes once you're there.
The resort also offers a fabulous spa option as well as excursions for snorkeling and dolphin spotting. We did all of them and I must say that the snorkeling trip was just beyond compare. The guides took us to some stunning reefs and I can swear I saw the entire cast of "Finding Nemo" while sorkeling. We even saw a couple of turtles and a shark!!!!
The dolphin trip was very disappointing though. The crew on the boat were very disinterested and no one really knew what was happening. To add to that it started raining while we were there so we had to turn back. Again - only because it's a Conrad - when we informed the hotel staff that we were disappointed with the dolphin tour, they gave us a 50% discount just to make up for it.
Like the time we left the Andaman Islands, we left the Conrad with heavy hearts but with the surety of returning. And we also realised that when you stay at the Conrad - you get better than the best.
A special mention must be given to the Manager of the Atoll Market - a fascinating guy with humorous stories and a very pleasing personality. It would be unkind ad unfair to not mention our vacation manager (I wish I could name her) and also the operations manager who made sure everything was just so.

Kudos to the Hotel and it's staff. They made this vacation the best vacation of our lives! Before we left we were asked if there was any comment or suggestion we would like to leave ad I couldn't help but wonder - how can they improve on perfection??

It ain't the Ritz

Although we are not of the Sikh faith, going to Amritsar was something both the husband and I were looking forward to.When we had guests visiting us who were also interested in going there, we thought this would be the best opportunity to go.
Having heard SO much about the Golden Temple, it was on our list of "10 places to see in North India’’. We were not disappointed. There is something so holy about this place - it just hits you in the face. The serenity and the sheer devotion of the people is just something you have to see.

An added attraction is a visit to the Wagah Border. I’m telling you, the patriotism in you just rises. Brilliant show by both sides of the border and a complete adrenaline high!! Do go. You won’t be disappointed.

You will however be disappointed with the Ritz Plaza. We were told this was the best in Amritsar. Something tells me that was incorrect information. It looks great from the outside - the inside is not a pretty story.

First, they messed up our reservations. We had booked three double rooms, they offered us three twin rooms. When we protested, a very disinterested bellboy showed us to the double rooms.

The rooms and the general ambiance:
It felt like this hotel was built in 1970 and then the management just forgot to renovate! Not to mention the constant smell of sour milk in the corridors!! The decor of the rooms was very dark. From the upholstery on the couches and the matching bedcovers to the drapes, it looked like a bad 70’s flick.
The showers only gave hot water. If you wanted some cold water mixed in - nope. Not possible. Ask the angry red marks on my shoulders :-(

They have one all-purpose restaurant which doubles up as the coffee shop. And they have a Bar. I must admit that the food was good – although the service was appalling! We ordered 5 chicken burgers and 20 minutes after placing the order, a very sheepish waiter returned telling us to order something else as the burgers were over…(!!?!!) It took 30 minutes to get beer and they had the strangest rules for happy hours!
The buffet breakfast had very cold and congealed food. One of us wanted a cheese, tomato and onion omelette. The cook forgot to put in onions and tomatoes and when he was asked to change it, he just broke open the cheese omelette and added raw onions and tomatoes from the top as garnish! Nouvelle Cuisine wot? :-S

All in all, I don’t know if this is the best hotel in Amritsar…and if it is…name be damned – this definitely ‘aint the Ritz!

Kerala with a twist

A five day break and we decided - it had to be Kerala. For all those who have been, I don’t need to describe it and for all those who plan to go - I won’t describe it ... it’s just indescribable.

I write this not to praise Kerala...enough has been said about it’s beauty... and it’s all true.Instead, I thought of writing about our experience on a houseboat!
We had gone to Kovallam and Kumarakom. Stayed at the Leela at both places (there was a great package) and we chose one night on a houseboat as part of the package. At first i was skeptical...what the hell are we going to do on a boat all day??!!! I am so glad now that we did.

The boat was arranged by the resort (Kumarakom Beach Resort) but one can book the boats directly from the company (Muthoot is the best) and that turns out cheaper... (naturally) The resort has their own jetty and so we boarded from there... there were 3 crew members on the boat (1 cook, 1 captain and the 3rd is the waiter/standby captain or reliever). When we got on board we did the obligatory tour... the houseboat had 2 a/c rooms with attached bathroms, a dining and lounging area and the kitchen at the back. The frst thing that struck us was how clean the boat and the crew were. The lounge area had a HUGE fruit basket which is left there for snacking...

We were served lunch almost withing 30 minutes of being on board as we boarded at lunchtime. The food...what can I say??!! "simbly awesome" :-) We were served local fare which was sambhar, rice, 2 vegetables and a fried fish each... just amazing. For dessert, he served us some fruit salad.
The package included all food and board but not drinks and thats not expensive at all!
They served us tea/coffee with some snacks at around 4pm...and then at 5pm, they surprised us by making us get off the boat and get into smalled kerala style canoes!!! We went through a couple of villages on the boat - a truly cool experience.
When we got back, there was cold freshly squeezed juice waiting for us!The chef asked what we’d like for dinner. We chose fresh prawns and vegetables and a dal. Lip smacking.

The evening was magical. We saw the sun set on the backwaters and I’m tellin’ you...it’s just awe-inspiring. It was the most romantic experince... the moonlight... a few houseboats all anchored for the night....its as close to nature as you can get. The houseboats all anchor around 6:30pm so that the local fishermen can then cast their nets...

We woke up after a very very comfortable nights sleep at 5:30am..we wanted to see the sun come up.... it was still dark and we saw a couple of fishermen sitting alone in their small rice boats with just a lantern for company... waiting to get the catch of the day.... slowly around 6:15am...the sun peeked out... and with it it brought out the spleandour of kerala....
The captain even let me steer the boat for a while and i have pictures for posterity :-)

Breakfast was served...appams or toast and eggs or both.... and at 9am...they dropped us back to the resort...we loved it so much that went back for round 2 within the next fortnight!

I would recommend this trip.... truly. It’s an experience you will not forget. After all - it is God's own country.

Stockholm Calling!

At the risk of it sounding like propaganda (as I worked for the Swedish Government in India), I’m going to write this review as fairly as I possibly can.

When I visited Stockholm for the very first time, I had heard many things about the Country - mostly about its companies and its inventions. I went with a very open mind till I reached the New Delhi International Airport :-)

I happened to find my neighbour’s baby very cute and started making idle conversation with him. (as most bored people do at airports) After the usual cooing to the baby, we started chatting about our respective travels. I almost fell off my seat when the guy tells me ’’Wow! You’re going to Sweden!! The land of promiscuity and free sex!!! You’re so lucky!’’ I was shocked because the people I work with are anything but promiscuous and are actually quite sedate! So now my "open mind’’ was whirring with thoughts which mostly comprised of "Oh my God! What the hell have I gotten myself into and where the hell am I going!!?’’

So, when I touched down at Arlanda airport, I was very shocked and mildly disappointed!! I saw no naked people and no one was having sex!

I am not going to give you all a ’’Go to Stockholm’’ review so this will not tell you where to go and what to do – just what I experienced.

I was staying in Östermalm (the hoity-toity area of Stockholm which is close to the Ministry for Foreign Affairs) and a cab ride (the best option when you travel like you’re moving house – like me) to my hotel (Hotel Riddergatan) was about 425 SEK (approx. INR 2125 or USD 45 (pretty steep but it’s a good 45 minute drive)
The best way to get to the city centre is actually by the Arlanda Express. Gets you there in 30 minutes and it’s about 300 SEK for a return ticket!

The hotel was absolutely great. The rooms were very very small (especially if you’re used to Indian hotels) but very functional and extremely clean. It’s a bed & breakfast so don’t expect any meals other than breakfast (which is the same everyday – and I know that coz I stayed there for a week!) But the staff is sooo good! Very friendly and very helpful.

Other than "official visits’’ to museums and other such boring places (I’m not a history buff) I visited Skansen. Now THIS is a fantastic place. It’s an open air zoo-cum-museum. Very nice. Other than seeing some Nordic animals – they have some really interesting things like glass blowers and a bakery! (Awesome stuff sold there)

Amongst other very interesting things to do in Stockholm, my most favourite thing to do was walk around Gamla Stan. This is the old town. Cobbled streets with quaint little shops selling candy and souvenirs dotted with little cafés and so much history. (The acceptable un-boring kind of history) The buildings look like little doll houses and I was immediately transported back to a much more innocent age where everything was happy and fun.

I did visit IKEA though. It’s an all-time favourite with me and long before I joined my Swedish employers – my house was a glaring advertisement of IKEA. I am partial to lighter wood and IKEA is just up my alley. I only bought little knick knacks as shipping anything big would put a dent in my pocket the size of a small African nation… But it was fun as it was the largest IKEA in the world located at Kungens Kurva. They have a free bus from central Stockholm and everything. A must visit.

Since I went in May, Spring was in the air! There were tulips growing wild and everything was happy! Although if you’re visiting – Sweden is never hot.Even a good summer would be about 25 – 30 degrees. So when you come from warmer climates – carry your warm clothes. The trick is to layer and strip as you get warmer.

The bigger malls in Stockholm are Åhléns, Gallerian and NK (very expensive) but if you’re a more ’’browsie’’ kinda person … walk down Drottninggatan… It allows leisurely walking and browsing with a lot of local flavour.

I would be lying if I said that I didn’t visit some Orrefors and Kosta Boda outlets. I’m a woman remember. Shopping and spending money is a gift received from up above ;-)

I can write forever but I think I’ll end by saying – go to Sweden. If for nothing else then just to try the Swedish meatballs ;-)

A plate full of heaven and a side order of hell.

“Lets go for a relaxing vacation to the Andaman Islands during Easter break” said my better half.
“Andamans? As in the Andaman & Nicobar Islands??”
“Yeah!!” he said with enthusiasm I didn’t share.
“But that’s Kala Pani! A place where people were banished in the good ole’ days! Why are we willingly going there?” “Because it’s untouched and almost but not quite out of India.” he quipped.
Case closed.
So, decision made, flight bookings were next on the agenda. “Hey!” says Columbus again, “Lets try Paramount Airways! It’s an all business class airline!“
Oh well... if you’re going to be banished, may as well do it in style I think.
So on the day of departure and to begin our relaxing holiday we rush to the airport, combating crazy Bangalore traffic – our driver Surya assuming the mask of a rally car driver, all the while praying that we make it on time! We did make it, and with time to spare thankyouverymuch! Move over Schumi, Surya was here to stay.

“Sir, Ma’am, please refresh your selves in our private lounge” says a pretty but gaudily made up face at the Paramount Airways counter. So I’m thinking… “refresh myself”?? Am I looking that grubby? And there is another lounge at HAL airport???!?!?!? Apparently not. We trudge up to the canteen like common lounge where the service staff looks so harried that you almost want to get up and help them serve!
“I’ll have a cold beer and my wife will have a diet coke please”
“Sir”, says our waiter, “If you have beer, you can not have snacks from our buffet. We will give you some wafers with your beer”
I just got more stuff on my plate and we shared. I failed to see the logic in that rule but…whatever!
“Paramount Airways regrets to inform you of the delay of its flight to Chennai by 30 minutes”
My husband’s beer arrives as does my coke – both flat. We decide to check email etc – no network. Let’s read a paper! Not one in sight.
“Paramount Airways regrets to announce the further delay of its flight to Chennai by 25 minutes” Grrrr
1½ hour later we board an “Air India!!” bus to take us to the plane. My thoughts are now: “Oh Lordy! If this “all business class” hoity-toity carrier doesn’t have their own bus, it can not be a good sign! I was right! Imagine our shock when we board the aircraft only to realize that they have just rechristened classes! Economy is Business and Business is First Class! The only actual difference is that all seats have good leg room. The cabin music was unbearable and they had the same song on loop! Aarrrrgh!!
“Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah” that’s what the air-hostess’s incomprehensible safety announcement sounded like “and we will serve you refreshments in the form of hot snakes on this flight” HOT SNAKES!!!????!! Is she serious? This does not look good! I want my mommy!!!!
Never mind, I console myself, it’s just a 40 minute flight – I’ll kick back my heels and read. Read?? Read what? The regional newspaper or the in-flight magazine? That’s the choice! Oh well… at least there is a choice! Hah!
With nothing better to do, I observe the air hostess serving watermelon juice. Her dark blue/black skirt was so short she had to keep tugging it down, thereby spilling ½ the juice in the tray. The short skirt had a 2” slit riding up her thigh with shocking pink piping that had seen better days and frankly, so had the hostess. Food came next and we chose one vegetarian & one non vegetarian option. I chose vegetarian which consisted of fried chilli idlis with vegetable stew and some indescribable dessert which was a yellow puddle as bright as the sun! My husband ordered the non vegetarian option and got fried chilli idlis with chicken stew and some more of the indescribable dessert. My white boy husband looked positively green after one bite of the yellow goop. We could have interchanged our plates and they would have been identical except for the three pieces of chicken he had in his. We touched down in a rainy Chennai 2½ hours after our intended arrival. But the captain definitely flew coz we made the 40 minutes flight in 25 minutes!

We were staying at the Chola Sheraton and were greeted by the hotel driver who was 6 feet tall and just as broad. For a man that size he showed great dexterity in first getting into the car and then maneuvering the crammed streets of Chennai! We reached the hotel and were shown to our suite. The Sheraton hospitality was superfluous as we had down pillows with lavender mist sprayed on them to ensure a dreamless sleep… We decided to freshen up and have dinner as we had an early flight to take to Port Blair the next day. This relaxing holiday was going beautifully so far….

We decided on Chinese as we had had our share of south Indian food. So Shanghai Club it was. I was happy to note that the interior designer had not OD’d on red and Chinese lanterns. We must have looked like rag dolls because our waiter Gopan looked at us very sympathetically and immediately suggested what to eat. We settled on splitting a chicken hot ‘n’ sour soup, pepper chicken and veg fried noodles. They served us some kimchi while we waited for our food and the cold beer and diet coke we ordered were highly appreciated! The Korean appetizer packed in quite a punch and we were left gasping for breath and chugging down copious amounts of cold liquid! The soup however was superb! Just the right amount of hot and sour and the chicken and noodles were fantastic! I can safely say it was one of the better Chinese meals we had eaten in our lives.
We trudged up to our room, showered and just about made it half way to our pillows before passing out in lavender heaven. I slept the sleep of the dead! But I do remember that I dreamed of planes, rains and automobiles when I woke up to the 6am morning alarm. 6am!!?? Which idiot in God’s name wakes up at 6am on a relaxing holiday??! Me!! that’s who! Grrrrrr I sank deeper into the covers and prayed it was a false alarm… but I heard “Mr Relaxing Holiday” himself shuffle around the room trying not to wake me thereby making the maximum amount of noise.
We make it to breakfast and our eyeballs bounce out of their sockets! What a spread! There was cereal, north Indian breakfast, south Indian breakfast, Japanese breakfast, Chinese breakfast and even eggs to order. Their bread & pastry selection had me gain 5 pounds just by looking! However, I like to believe that I drooled the exact amount away so I would still fit into my swimming gear.
We left the Sheraton to get our plane and I was struck by how bland this Metropolis was. It did nothing for me. It was raining camels and elephants and the sky was an oppressive gray. The heavens had opened up and the God’s had made Chennai their own public urinal. We reached Chennai airport and took the Jet Airways flight to Port Blair. I tried to check email at the airport but got a message, “Connecting to Airtel is forbidden” Forbidden??? And I thought we were in a democracy! Since when are we forbidden?? I felt like suing Airtel! Their ads claim to be with you and for you always but I guess they are pretty much like the Delhi police! Bah!
I now know why Jet Airways & Kingfisher have been able to sustain themselves despite the low-cost carrier brigade. They are able to provide a certain kind of service and staff that the budget airlines just can not touch. The food option was Bhindi paratha and chana dal for the vegetarians and Spanish omelet for the non-vegetarians. I opted for the vegetarian coz I was curious what a bhindi paratha would be. Quite interesting I must say and the chana dal ensured that should the plane have run out of gas, I would be able to gallantly step in!
Before we landed we got an eyeball popping view of a few of the 572 islands that the Anadman boasts off. We could see white sandy beaches interspersed with the greenest shrubbery dotted between the vast expanse of the bluest water I had ever set eyes on. It was truly breath taking.
After a fairly uneventful flight, we touched down in sunny Port Blair. Ah!!! THIS is life I thought….just before a blast of hot air hit me in my face, taking me straight from God’s public urinal to his private sauna. It was 31 degrees and the sun was doing the tango on our heads!
We scuttled into the terminal and were greeted by Island Immigration.
“Meydam please phill phorom medam” said the immigration guy. Form?? Why should I fill an immigration form in my own country?
“Which country from you meydam?” Rolling my eyes heavenward and showing him my Indian passport I quipped “Main Hindustani hoon” with as much national pride as I could muster.
“Meydam!!! You speaking hindi!!?” “Yes!! Because I’m Indian!”
Shaking his head “Yes! Yes! No no…. what country you from meydam?” Arrrrghh!!!!! And we wonder if our country will ever become a super power! Yeah! I can really see that happening with our own officials asking me what country I am from while holding my Indian passport in their hand! Bah! Ignoramus!
I noticed the strangest thing at the baggage carousel. There were at least a 100 people there and I was sure I hadn’t seen half of them on our plane! Why were they standing there?! What had happened?? Hmnn I though…maybe some hippie’s smuggled in some ganja and is busted!! But no such exciting thing had happened! They were random people standing there just looking at unknown bags going round and round the baggage belt! Amazing! Oh well I guess it takes all kinds to make the world or in this case, the baggage carousel to go round.

We were going to stay at Barefoot Resorts at Havelock Island and the driver was there to get us. Port Blair is quite hilly and the turns and twists of the road gave me a sample of my already half digested bhindi paratha and the gas produced by the chana dal was giving me burps that would defy all decibel levels! One has to stop at the main gate of the harbor and walk the 500 meters to the pier for “security reasons” Wha?? What security? There was nothing in sight! I was however grateful for the walk…. Although warm, I felt a sense of liberation…. of impending relaxation and I marched ahead with renewed gusto. When we got “there” we balked! It was 31 degrees centigrade and there was no place to sit and nor was there anything shady to stand under! It was just you, the sun and the only refreshment stall on the pier. The stall was a cart where the guy was selling cold kachoris and samosas, hot tea that would win a competition against motor oil in terms of acidity- if glugged and mineral water that was being sold for 100 bucks a pop! I decided there was an ocean full of water I would rather drink from than be a victim of daylight robbery!
“Uh…madam” said Shafiq our contact at Barefoot Resorts who had come to see us off, “Would you like to go by speed boat or by the regular boat that takes the more scenic route as it stops at a few islands?” We were just about leaning towards the scenic route (hell! We were on a relaxing vacation weren’t we?? What hurry were we in??) when he said “ If you go by speed boat, it will get you there in 2 ½ hours and if you go by “Danger” it will get you there in 4 hours”. That just about decided it for us. Speed boat it would be! Who the hell would willingly go on a boat called “Danger” even if it promised to take you to hell the scenic way?? Nothing prepared us for what lay ahead. The “speedboat” is actually a modified barge. There is seating available in the cabin below where you can leave your luggage. The cabin is a small taste of what hell could be. With no ventilation except for a pedestal Khaitan fan as an air circulator and seating for about 50 sweat drenched people, it made me do a quick mental check of good karma I could do so I never have to visit the real deal once I’m done with this world! We decided to pass on the VIP seats and sit on the deck instead. The boat left surprisingly at the appointed hour! It was hot as hell and the putrid smell of sweat diluted after shave / perfume mixed with the fishy smell of the ocean was enough to make me gag! But once we set sail out of the harbor, we were in for the ride of our lives. Do not expect this to be a cruise of any kind but I’m telling you, if God intended there to be a piece of heaven on earth, Havelock it would be. The ride was just a teaser of things to come. The ocean was the bluest blue and the waves that crashed against the boat were pristine white, a sharp contrast that would make the staunchest cynic of beauty gasp! After looking at varying shades of blue for a while, I plugged in my ipod and stretched my neck with my face towards the sun and assumed a yogic pose that would have made my posture correcting mom beam with pride. Sufi music, the blue ocean and wind that literally blew me away – that was how I spent 2 ½ hours of the best travel of my life.
With sea salt in our hair, we sailed into Havelock Island with hairstyles that would make my gay hair dresser shriek in alarm and sun tans that already looked very promising despite the gobs of sunscreen we had slathered on before we departed. The 11 km ride from the harbor to the resort was nothing to write home about. The island was truly bare except for the few people who lived and worked there. When we reached the resort, we realized that our hi-tech wap-enabled mobile phones would pretty much serve as cameras as again – we were “forbidden” to use Airtel. The rooms were very nice I must say. Wooden chalets built on stilts with all the modern amenities except a TV. But hey! With snorkeling and a beach with white sand, corals and drift wood, who was going to sit in front of the idiot box anyway?
I would like to say that the food at the resort was awesome but I can’t. When we got there, we were starving! So we decided to have a small snack and then have dinner later. I am allergic to salmon and tuna so after checking at least 10 times with the waiter, who assured us it was the local catch called jackfish, we ordered fish ‘n’ chips. What we of course didn’t know was that the waiter who took our order was a trainee who only spoke and understood Bengali…so after I had downed the first bite of deep fried death, my throat closed up and I broke out into hives! The cardinal rule of an allergy attack – don’t panic! So, of course, I panicked! We were in the middle of nowhere and this Bengali speaking bumbling idiot had just handed me my one way ticket out of heaven straight to hell??!!! Ooooh this was not looking good! But thanks to my dentist dad who can also be called a walking chemist, I always carry enough medicines to start a small pharmacy shop should the need arise. I popped an anti-histamine and I was good to go! But I had no intention of going back into that place so we asked around and it turned out that Barefoot had an Italian restaurant called Mahua, 100 meters from the resort, bang on the beach. Now THAT was the true pearl in our gastronomic oyster. We ate all our meals there and I can personally recommend the Penne Arrabiata, Fusilli with mushrooms and bacon, the salami & olive pizza and the chocolate salami as dessert.

Night falls pretty early at Havelock so by 5:30pm you’re ready to have your sundowner while watching the waves crash against the shore. We were exhausted after our travel and slept eight straight hours through the night.

The next day, we walked a couple of kilometers on the beach and lay down our towels next to a blue lagoon that would have made Brooke Shields & Christopher Atkins green with envy. People respect your space on the island and you can easily be alone amongst the 20 odd people who occupy the same strip of sand. We got on our snorkeling gear and were off! Oh the thrill of it all – I just can not describe it! There were live corals, driftwood, fish of all shapes, colours and sizes that would make an aquarium lover drool. I was in aqua heaven!
One thing I can tell you though is DO NOT eat before snorkeling. Rookie mistake and of course I had to make it! Lets just say that the fish had a hearty egg white omelet and toast breakfast! I had to get out of the water because I literally didn’t have the stomach for anymore and I was really worried the fish would come back for seconds! As exhilarating as the experience is of sporting fake gills to be one with nature and intruding into their aqua space, there was an inexplicable sense of fear that I felt. There was nothing to fear truly but I was reminded of Jaws at several instances and my faint heart and stomach wanted out.
We spent time lying on the sand like beached whales after a scrumptious pasta lunch and became two with nature.

We woke up the next morning hoping to see the sunrise but it had beaten us to it! We were at the beach at 5:30am but the sun had already drenched the beach and the water looked like liquid gold. I decided to stay out of the water and spent the morning walking along the shore, collecting interesting pieces of driftwood and corals for my aquarium at home – all the while humming some of my favourite songs. I’m telling you, there is nothing like it. I’m sure there are places far more exotic and far more beautiful but nothing exactly like it.

We had unfortunately underestimated the beauty of this place and our stay was far too short to absorb and assimilate all the wonders of what can only be described as India’s pearl. We left the place with heavy hearts knowing that we would come back some day. The harbor was crowded with people ready to hit civilization and we boarded the speed boat to Port Blair at 4:30pm. We decided to sit on the deck again and were lucky enough to get seats on the side the sun would set. It was just magic. We saw the sky go from a blazing yellow to a sweltering red before it whimpered and became a colour that I am convinced doesn’t exist on the colour wheel. We spent the 2 ½ hour ride knowing that while we sailed in darkness…. the sun that had slipped under the horizon was beginning the day for someone else in another part of our world.

We landed at Port Blair a little after 7pm and were greeted by an enthusiastic Shafiq. We were walking towards the car when he pointed out a tribal who belonged to one of the little known islands. I had heard of and seen pictures of tribals but never thought I’d actually come face to face with one. He had dreadlocks and teeth that looked like he’d eaten some very questionable meat. He wore a regular shirt and pant which I can only assume were his travel threads. He was walking toward the pier so I just got a glimpse of him but for me – that was enough.

We took the three minute drive uphill to Fortune Resort – the best hotel in Port Blair at breakneck speed and no amount of telling the driver would make him slow down. The hotel belongs to the Sheraton group but no one except the guests seemed to make the connect. The staff didn’t even seem to know what Sheraton was! We were told that the restaurant was one level down and that we would be expected to check out at 7am! We did a double take! There was no way in hell we were going to wake up at an ungodly hour, check out and then wait for 5 ½ hours till our plane took off! There were other guests who seemed to be having the same spat and so we all decided to just stay on. What could the hotel do? We were shown to our room and the only thing that was breath taking was the view. We had a room that over looked the harbor! But the room smelt of stale sweat mixed with a jasmine room freshener and moth balls so we opened the windows and let in some fishy air which only made things worse. We finally put on the air conditioner and I sprayed copious amounts of my deodorant spray into the vent. That made the air breathable and we decided to have dinner before showering and hitting the sack. We decided to have the buffet which wasn’t half bad and by the time it was 9pm, we were in the land of make belief which smelt of mothballs and questionable meat.

We woke up the next morning and had a scrumptious breakfast of idli sambhar, poha and aaloo parathas. We checked out at 11am and landed at an airport that looked busier than a polling booth on election day! We were told that a certain God woman who everyone fondly called “Amma” had come to Port Blair on the same day as we had, to hand over houses to people who had lost everything in the Tsunami. She was leaving and there was a sea of white as far as our eyes could see and getting past security check was proving to be a bigger struggle than climbing Mount Everest. Turned out that despite the fact that flights were being announced for take off, disciples from all parts of the world and of all races and colour were waiting to catch one last glimpse of this lady who wore all white and was rumored to have a heart of gold. There was a sudden frenzy and amongst a throng of people, we saw 6 – 8 hefty policemen carrying a chair on which sat a woman dressed in all white. She was whisked into the V.I.P lounge for 10 minutes after which she was whisked away, to a private aircraft which left Port Blair and over a million adoring gazes.

Our flight was delayed due to bad weather in Chennai and the flight went through every possible air pocket during the 2 ½ hour plane ride. But we had a great meal of chicken pasta and Sacher Torte and landed in a drippy gloomy Chennai. Of course the plane to Bangalore was delayed and we waited in the lounge to take off. My husband ordered a beer and coffee while I asked for a diet soda. We were told that we could have any one drink complimentary per lounge card and would have to pay for any additional drinks. We agreed. But when we left the lounge, we had still not received any coffee. Imagine our surprise when the waiter came running down three flights of steps demanding money for the beer! We were very surprised as we had only had one drink each and that was supposed to be complimentary! He insisted we pay up so we agreed and asked for a bill. He refused. It became very apparent that he wanted to make a quick buck and thought that being foreigners we wouldn’t question it…. Needless to say, he got quite an earful from me in hindi and we just walked off leaving a gaping south Indian waiter who couldn’t quite fathom how a “foreigner” spoke such pure and unaccented Hindi. There are after all some advantages of being mistaken for a foreigner in one’s own land.
We boarded the last leg of our journey with bitter thoughts about Chennai and some of it’s people and were elated when we touched down in Bangalore.

My last thoughts as we snaked into the crawling traffic of Bangalore were… no matter where you go, heaven truly is served on a platter in your own home.